I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how do flat chested girls get laid?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What drink are we having for lunch?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
