Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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