the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
