why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
