just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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