i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
