I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
