Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
