Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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