I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
