in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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