Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
