Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
