He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
