watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
