Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
