People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
