it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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