no, he came in my armpit
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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