just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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