Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
