That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
