But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
