Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Randomize
