I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hippo gnu deer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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