she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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