I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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