We named our party play list daddy issues
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
As shirtless as possible
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
