Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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