I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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