Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
