i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
