I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
