There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
