He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Houston, we have a squirter
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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