you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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