And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
