So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
