ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
