Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
