yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
