Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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