Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
