He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
