I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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