me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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