Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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