Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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