Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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