MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
