The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
