what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
